you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize