I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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