Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
