i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm always down for nudity.
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