She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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