I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
