he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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