just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
