yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My pussy is not your playground.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
