but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
