You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize