Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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