hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
