I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Everclear isn't food dammit
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
