He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
