Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize