i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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