if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
