In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
