Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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