I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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