I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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