I bet he comes in French.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
