no, he came in my armpit
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
