Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
