U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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