she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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