i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize