Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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