and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
