And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
