I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
