He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
