Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
