I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
