This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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