Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
