haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize