I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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