my room smells like sperm. sweet.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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