watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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