my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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