Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize