I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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