Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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