Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
