OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
