how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
