I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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