she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
