i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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