girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize