How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i love accidental penises.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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