That's intense
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
