some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize