Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
