I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
