I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
