worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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