He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
