Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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