The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
