You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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